move like a jellyfish, rhythm don't mean nothing, you go with the flow ya don't stop

so i had a bio test today, and it was on like jellyfish, sea anemones, corals and that kind of stuff. and i realized, the ocean is actually the most beautiful place. like especially when you go to hawaii, or somewhere else tropical and snorkel in the coral reefs! last year on a spring break trip in maui i stumbled upon the biggest sea turtle i've ever seen! it was the size of me at least and i'm 5'11 ! i swam above it for a while, just watching it. i was completely fascinated by every single move it made. and in the coral it was just so gorgeous! especially with the blue water. eventually i had to swim back in because it was moving too far out, but still i always remember swimming with that turtle.

it kind of made me want to consider marine biology as a career. of course not where i live though, because on the west coast of canada the thing they study the most is salmon. but somewhere tropical, where i could watch all the colourful creatures, and go scuba diving in tropical waters! sound like a pretty great life to me.

STOKED FOR FIRST BASKETBALL GAME/TOURNAMENT OF THE SEASON STARTING TOMORROW! WOOOOOOOO! 

lots of love

M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F46w1M5A1E

it's always better when we're together

boyfriends annoy me. so much. i feel like ever since jess and shannon started dating their boyfriends they've been spending less and less of time with me, and more time with their boyfriends. to the point of now, where the only time i really hang out with them is at school.

what bothers me the most about it is they say 'montana you've changed'. i've changed? really, i've changed? no, you just started hanging out with your boyfriends all the time, and i've been finding other ways to preoccupy myself, and other friends to spend time with. you're the ones that have changed. you think you're in 'love'. wake up. you're barley sixteen years old, live your life and go out and do things before you say you 'love' somebody. because a month after dating somebody isn't a good time to decide you 'love' them. 

give it time, and have freedom with it. don't take it too seriously. both jessie and shannon think they're going to marry their boyfriends some day eventually. although they haven't said it, they've definitely implied it multiple times. they're already planning grad trips with them. that's not for another year and a half! if either of their boyfriends were to break up with them, i don't know what they'd do. it would be like a death. they've made it so that their worlds revolve around their boyfriends, and have excluded everyone else. totally disregarded their friends. 

i don't think i can deal with them much longer. and to top if off, when we do hang out they always 

1) ask to bring their boyfriends along, then get mad if i say no 

2) text their boyfriends the entire time we hang out not paying any attention to their other friends

when they're with their boyfriends they don't text ANYONE. they make it a point not to. yet when they're with me they constantly text them. 

and i also feel as if they always look down on me because i don't have a boyfriend, i just have flings. they don't understand that yes, it is possible to be single and still be happy. although you may have fun with your boyfriend, i can have fun too. plus i don't have limits.

i think these girls need a serious reality check. and as bad as it sounds, the only way they're really going to get one is if their boyfriends dump them... which i kind of wish they would. 

oh and side note here, T has a boyfriend, and she's amazing with being able to balance everything. she hangs out with him, but still she always makes sure she has time for her friends, and she stays grounded. i really admire her for that. but JM takes it so far to say she's a bad girlfriend. just because she can balance her boyfriend and her friends makes her a bad friend? no jessie, you're just a terrible friend and need to get your big head out of your ass. 

okay done my rant now :)

lots of love 

M 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfoqELZWcp8&feature=feedrec_grec_index

it's hard to believe all these pictures were only from a couple years ago... 

know all the things that make you who you are

why is everything so confusing? i feel like i'm never going to be able to find out what i really want. and i feel as if i go for what i think i want, i realize later it's not what i really wanted. and i ended up messing things up, or ruining things with other people along the way. i feel as if until i find out what i truly want, i'm just going to dig myself into a deeper and deeper hole, making it harder for me to climb out of when i finally realize what i want. WHY IS LIFE SO CONFUSING!?

lots of love

M
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxZTq4zsP5s

tidal waves couldn't save the world from californiacation

lately i've been realizing as we've grown, how much closer my sister and i have become. we spend so much time together, and we tell each other everything. even though we fight... a lot, i'll always love her :) even though we're huge lgs together...
i really don't think there's another person in the world that's as similar to me though. she's almost a twin!

lots of love

M :)

stooooked for tonight! dustin's having a party and then sleepover at julie's after. best of both worlds yay! :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlUKcNNmywk&ob=av2e

and so lying underneath those stormy skies, she'd say oh i know the sun must set to rise

you know one of those days where you're just ridiculously happy and laugh at everything? yep, i'm having one of those days :) in such a good mood!

lots of love

M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1G4isv_Fylg&ob=av2e

now i don't know where i'm going, but i know where i've been

i won a starbucks card this morning. one of my extra credit classes is leadership and today they wanted to do something fun for us to make up for all the before school classes. so they organized a scavenger hunt around the school, funnest thing ever. there was a lot of mad running, and my group won by like 2 minutes. yeaaaa. time to hit up starbucks between classes tomorrow.

oh and other highlight of my day, my assistant coach said i was his favorite girl at practice tonight. yay :) haha even if it means nothing, little compliments always make you feel good!

lots of love

M

something about starbucks in the city makes me smile

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q77oJSOSiCs

sexual innuendos, playing these games like nintendo

sometimes i feel as if people take me too seriously. i just want to have fun.

some guy asked me for a tit pic so i sent him this

i mean jeeze people, do you actually think i'm that indecent and that dumb to send you pictures of my boobs. 

then KK was texting me and it got a little too sexual for my liking, so when he asked me what i thought could make his bed experience any better i said ....kittens? needless to say he didn't text back. i think he got the message, but i think he also took me too seriously. i'm only joking around!!

i will never understand guys and their needs to receive sexual images and texts over the phone . in person, it's probably a lot better . aim for that next time? 

lots of love

M 

life is too short, so love the ones ya got cause you might get run over or ya might get shot

christmas lights out already makes me happy :)

pretty boring day at school today.. i woke up and i thought it was saturday... i was like why is my alarm going off on the weekend? awkward. my chem teacher is awesome though. one of the girls that's like always talking/texting in class left to go to the washroom today, so my teacher was like 'oh let's play a prank on her'. so he took our entire class to the library and left the class empty. it was pretty funny to see her reaction when she found us. 

so i'm really hoping that there's going to be a party this friday.. cause it's kind of like my last weekend until i have basketball tournaments for a kajillon weeks in a row. not like i don't like being tired and sweaty all weekend, but i definitely want one last chance to have some good times with my friends before i have to give it all up! 

love of lots 

M

this made me laugh a little...

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yfrRyLYAF0

oh the weather outside is frightful

this picture was taken at this time last year. this time this year all we have is rain, rain and more rain. all the snow that showed up is now gone. sadface :( 

can it please please PLEASE snow so i don't have to go to school thursday.
if it was only 2 degrees colder i wouldn't have had school today, or had to go tomorrow.
that would be nice thank you.

IS THIS NOT THE MOST DEPRESSING WEATHER REPORT EVER!?

last week when i checked it said snow on every one of these days. damn

global warming.

lots of love

M

let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mN7LW0Y00kE

i don't believe that anybody feels the way i do, about you now

so today was alright. but it was kind of one of those days where you wake up and just want to say fuck it, and go back to sleep. i can't really have one of those days though. as much as i believe everyone needs those days once in a while, i didn't have the time to make it happen.

so instead i went to school and pounded through my classes, which surprisingly was alright. i'm ahead of the rest of my class in both bio and socials now since i just worked through class. like i said before, just one of those days where you want to say fuck it and not talk to anybody. really good for focus i'd say.

this might sound stupid, but i was feeling kind of musical today after school, so before i had to head off to basketball practice i went through some of my exam pieces for piano. sometimes it's nice to be able to just sit down and play. it's a good feeling.

then best part of the day, i had a super good basketball practice. it might not have been the best practice ever as a team, but it certainly was good. and it was an amazing practice individually for me. i just did everything really well, and when we had to do lines or stairs i always came first :) yay payoff from endless hours swimming. maybe i was just in a working hard mood today? but whatever it was it paid off.

really thinking about it now, i probably had one of those fuck it days because i just really need to take a break and think about some stuff. like last night a feeling of fear came back that i haven't had in a while. when i was younger i used to be terrified of death, but i guess now since i never really got a chance to get over S's dad's death that feelings come back. also i'm always wondering about 'that guy'. i shouldn't be thinking about stupid stuff that much. blah.

this is the kind of thing i've felt like doing all day.. i just need some time to

relax and think about things 

lots of lovin

M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6hzrDeceEKc
this song makes me so happy. i just like the mood it puts me in.

and we don't know where we're going from here, but we gotta stay together

yayayyayayyayyay sun down is out :) radical something makes me happy. YAY :D

masse kjærlighet

M

whatever tomorrow brings i'll be there, with open arms and open eyes

and this is how i feel today, story of my life.

kura ya upendo 

M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgT9zGkiLig&ob=av2e

ya they can run and hide, but we will find them before the night is through

why am i so terrible at teaching myself guitar. this is pretty much how it goes every time i try .

1) first i tune it to my piano, which i'm always distracted by and end up playing piano for about 15 minutes instead, until i finally realize i wanted to play guitar, not piano.
2) i play the usual chords i know, in the usual patterns. all easy stuff
3) i look on youtube for tutorials to learn some awesome song that i've always wanted to learn, watch it for about 4 minutes then get bored.
4) end up searching random covers of random songs and trying to find awesome ones.
5) go back to playing piano

i need to take like real lessons so i don't get distracted every time.

he's my faveeeee :) 

mucho amor

M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrvv8sNCnVM

a second winds coming on, and all i gotta do is listen to this song

i am the biggest procrastinator ever and it needs to stop. way too much homework for this... but... just can't do it. and on top of it all my soccer game was canceled because of snow, so i get no exercise today which makes me even LAZIER. didn't think that was possible.

oh and i might as well add, i love radical something now. like after listening to there album about oh i don't know, 100 times maybe? i gotta say i know pretty much all the lyrics. if they want to come to the west coast of canada any time soon... well.. uh.. that'd be great

lots of love

M

only after like 3 months of blogging have i actually figured how

to actually put youtube viedos on......

oh but its cold outside

i miss these kinds of days with my sister and i! 

christmas christmas christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! it's not even december yet and there's christmas lights up EVERYWHERE. i guess that's what i get for living in canada with SNOW:(
but i can't say i don't secretly love all this christmas stuff coming out. i mean everything about it just seems so warm and cozy. everything's happy and wonderful! :) just imaging myself curled up by the fire with all my family, the christmas tree and hot chocolate. love love love. what can i say, i'm kind of a christmas fanatic.

oh and starbucks christmas drinks make me happy too.

oh and white christmas is the best movie ever. bing crosby is my hero.

lots of love

M :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zN98EibnrI
classic christmas songs with classic singers are the only way to go

they say that nice guys finish last, well

i feel as if i need to become more relatable. although i really don't want to. i've just realized high school is full of copies, girls all try to be pretty, and get all the guy to love them. meanwhile the guys all try to act like douchebags to get all the girls to want them. in the end, it's just a big huge popularity contest. i'm definitely sitting out for this one. at the beginning of this year i thought that's what popular was, to be one of those clones with perfect hair, perfect clothes and self-centered personalities, but now i've realized i couldn't stand being that similar to anyone else!
get your own personality, kthanksbye.

oh and also, it astonishes me, just by observing the grade 12's that the guys ignore the prettiest, most original, interesting girls, and go for the girls that are all the same, practically don't even think for themselves. THEY ALL LOOK ALIKE! get somebody unique at least jeeze. but then again, those original girls are probably too good for those boys anyways.. the guys are almost copies of each other too. think for yourselves people!

okay done with my rant :) i now see why girls date college boys.

lots of love

M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gatM9vzc6VM

and right now i'm waiting for my ruca, and i barely pulled up with my heina

we are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love - Dr.Seuss

i just found this quote totally relevant to how i'm feeling lately. NOBODY ELSE UNDERSTANDS MY WEIRDNESS BUT 'THAT GUY'! he not only got my sarcastic sense of humor, love for the beach, reggae music and california, and passion for sports, he was pretty much THE SAME WAY! i miss that kid. :( stupid private school!

i know it sounds completely lame, but i always just zone out and think about ideal situations that could happen in my future. although most of the time, nothing even near it happens, sometimes i've had things pretty similar end up like i thought. but if only all these dream situations could become reality.

lots of love 

M

this ain't no funky reggae music party

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ux-feE6lfKk

Day 30 – One last moment

all in all i think my biggest thing is being happy. that's all i really have to say! do what you want to do, and do it with as much love and happiness as you can! always have compassion, but don't be afraid of goofing off and having fun. find balance!

lots of love

M

we run into each other and it's like we don't even speak the same language, i guess people always going through changes

pretty successful days of shopping these past couple days. managed to buy 3 shirts, 2 thank tops, a purse, a necklace and..............................................................TWO SUBLIME CDS :) hehehhehe yaaay!

and i also had my 16th birthday last night! ohhhh gooodtimes :) i would say more about it but i'm too tired and extremely lazy, and i have the feeling nobody really gives a shit so whateeevs! sleepy time nowwowowow :)

i'm kind of in love with this shirt and necklace.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7R2xcExtR4
favorite mac miller song atm. repeat and repeat and repeat.

oh you're so naive yet so

YAY FOR LONG WEEKENDS! :)

today my gym class went to the pool. i wasn't intending to get my hair wet/make up off because i had another class after plus i have soccer and basketball practice tonight so i thought it would just be easier, but i couldn't resist :) plus i got splashed... a lot, so that may have helped to my decision to swim swim swim! and i went to last block with no make up and wet hair proud! i'm glad to say, i no longer really care that much what other people think of me. as long as i'm happy with myself :) although i'll always care just a little bit deep down.

lots of love

M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jkaMiaRLgvY&ob=av2e
the kooks are wonderful :) 

Day 29 – Your aspirations

i definitely prefer the word dreams to aspirations. it just sounds so much more simple, yet so much happier and wonderful :) i have quite a few dreams, and being me, i'm a little too lazy to explain them all, i mean i'm almost too lazy to explain only one of them. one of my dreams though, is definitely to move somewhere warm near the ocean to go to university. although i really have no idea what i want to study, some days it's zoology, some days it's history and sometimes it's community development. i really have no idea.

i also want a chance to get out there and help people! i'd love to travel to Africa or maybe India or maybe even China and help children and families! :) i also have always wanted to adopt a child or maybe a couple from Somalia, and give them all the loving they need and teach them to become great, successful people! i just always think that i have such a great life here, why not help somebody else have and even more wonderful life in such a beautiful place :)

lots of love

M

so don't be living to shoot when ya know you're gunna miss

I'M OFFICIALLY A LIFEGUARD! :) i'm kind of stoked. i can now work for a generous 19 dollaaas an hour doing something that doesn't involve large amounts of grease or stalking shelves. champ worthy.

oh and school is really boring... i just can't focus i guess. kglhadgasldkglga;iweiauwgeui!

lots of love

M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TVlkRNJM88

Day 28 – Something that you miss

i quite miss summer... particularly this summer. i just had such a good time. and i feel that during this summer i really came out of my shell! there were just so many firsts, so many good times, so many laughs! i miss the sunny days, warm weather and time off school! being with my friends, not a worry in my mind. just being able to lay out on my deck, get tan and listen to my reggae. and the days at the beach/lake, those were good times! :) 'that guy' being in town 24/7 instead of at his private school... he's the biggest hippy i know! i am NOT meant to live on the cold part of the west coast that's for sure.. anytime my parents wanna offer to move me to california, i'm down!

lots of love

M

i just wanna find, a little bit of freedom

today i had the awkwardest moment ever. well first of all, kyle tried to get me to skip first block with him to 'hang out' but i was just way too tired and i wasn't really up for it so i made up an extremely lame excuse. and i hope he doesn't ignore me now cause he's mad about me always blowing him off but i'm just so busy! ....speak of the devil he just texted me now... weird.

so anyways back to awkward moments in biology. so we were watching a video about japanese moss. yep, you read that right, an hour long video just on japanese moss. woooooo! how exciting do you think that is. so being the model student that i am usually i'm super like alert and such in class, but being an insomniac too makes that super hard. so what do i do, but fall asleep on the floor. at least nobody could see though cause all the lights were off. but then, what do you know, the fire alarm goes off. pretty sure that was quite embarrassing, and pretty shocking for me to be suddenly woken up by that. oh and then i realized i left my phone on the floor after we left the classroom and had to go back to get it. awkward moments.

BUT I HAD A SUPER LEGIT BASKETBALL PRACTICE TONIGHT! :) and then right after basketball i went to soccer.... i need a break here!

lots of love

M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KL1TQ2H6v1k
i can't help but adore radical something

Day 27 – Your favorite place

you know those days when you're just so comfy and cozy and you can't possibly get yourself to get out of your bed? i just love the feeling of having nowhere to be, nothing to do. you can just lay in bed as long as you want all cuddled up nice and warm well it's snowing outside! :)

lots of love 

M

they say you waste time asleep, but i'm just tryna dream

soooo today would be my birthday! :) wooo no longer a baby! well sort of... but now i can't say to everyone 'still a baby' when they ask me why i don't have my drivers licence WHICH I PASSED BY THE WAY! and i only studied the night before. awwe yeahhh. so anyways it was a pretty legit birthday all in all. and my parents got me a pretty badddd ass poncho! wooo! :)

lots of love

M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7NJfuVk9hY

i want everything, in this life

so these would be our halloween costumes. i would say halloween, success.

lots of love

M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRIHbwoaX64

the sound waves control the minds of me and you

it my birthday tomorrow.... :) finally 16! i think i've kind of liked being 15 though... i mean it's been a pretty good time. but at least now i won't have to deal with my mom constantly saying 'you're only 15'. but anyways everyone always has all these great expectations for like an amazing 16th birthday party but honestly the place i really want to be on my birthday is on a beach somewhere in the sun with some reggae! but i'll be at school.. woooo. it's okay though cause my parents are taking me out for dinnner :)

only thing i'm a little nervous for is my driving test. i've been studying for my NLS so much i've kind of put off studying for it... but if i fail, who cares i get to write it the next day if that's what i want. i just really really really really really really REALLY want to pass! please please please!

lots of love

M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fncf_FB7WlI

Day 26 – Your fears

i'm pretty sure my biggest fear is failure. i want so badly to succeed, and work so hard i just can't stand the thought of failing. i always want to have success in whatever i do, whether it be a course in school, a sport or a driving test (which i have to do tomorrow and i'm extremely scared of failing!) but i need to learn to overcome fear, and just live because fear defeats more people then any other thing in the world.

lots of love

M