you should get to know me instead of pushing me away, cause i think i could show you something that'll make you stay

conditioning practice for soccer today. i think i might die. why do i have to run so much. and homework in every subject, like come on now, let's be real here i really don't have that much time. plus i'm too lazy to do it anyways. although it will get done eventually.. but who says it has to be now right?

on the upside it's been quite sunny lately and pretty warm, well getting there at least. just lovin it. getting back into chill mode finally, so good. can't wait till i can start hitting the beach again :) only sad part about summer is jin leaves for like 2 months.. i got my friends though, i'm sure i can deal.

lots of love

M

ahhh getting ready for summer :) 

she loves the sunrise, no longer sees it with her sleepy eyes

my life is quite boring. therefor i really don't have too much to write about. unless however, you would be interested in hearing about 6 hours of school, or basketball practice and such. or maybe hanging out with jin. cause i seem to do that a lot. but other then that i'm at a lack of things to blog about. same, same, same, every single day of my life... oh well, at least i have a life.

and i am quite excited for hawaii. not too much longer now! wooo! :)

lots of love

M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Fa_MLOQyMI

we got everything we need right here and everything we need is enough

i will never understand valentines day. i guess you could say i'm one of those non believers that think's it's just a commercial holiday. i mean like come on people, show your love every day! not just when feburary 14th rolls around. if anything it shouldn't be about getting that 'someone special' a present, it should be about showing your love to everyone. unfortunately, it's turned into one of those material driven holidays, like christmas has become. why can't people just appreciate each other in ways that don't involve fancy gifts, boxes of chocolate, and pretty flowers. maybe do something nice for somebody who's loved you all your life, like your parents? i'm sure they love you a lot more then a boyfriend/girlfriend ever could. and if that's not the case then go ahead, show your love to somebody else. just show somebody you appreciate them without spending money. maybe it will mean more. i still hate valentines day.

what about all those single people out there? what to they get? maybe your best friend is single, and as you're getting all that love from your boyfriend/girlfriend you're ignoring the person that loved you way before them, right in front of your face. don't chose your significant others over your friends at a young age, you'll regret it. appreciate people who don't have a person in their life to be appreciated by. even a small gesture counts. after all, valentines day is one of the days with the highest suicide rates. 

but with that being said, jin is still awesome :) 

 

lots of love 

M 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Graa_Vm5eA&feature=g-vrec&context=G2f12618RVAAAAAAAABw

how do i get out of here, back to where i belong

sometimes you just can't sleep. i seem to be having one of those nights. one of those weeks actually, where i just can't seem to be able to sleep. no matter how tired i am, it's just not going to happen.

i had a good half hour phone conversation with jin (i'm gunna use real names now, cause it's easier to remember and it doesn't really matter) about half an hour ago, trying to get myself to sleep better, but somehow, for some reason, i can't sleep! i think i've made him worried though, because i told him there was something i wanted to talk about with him. but don't take this the wrong way! it's nothing bad! just i've been wondering some stuff. i seem to have worried him though, because he sounded so sad on the phone :( he's worried that i'm worried, but now i'm worried that he's worried! people shouldn't worry so much. especially about other people's problems! they just gotta learn to live life, which i'm trying to do every day!

lots of love

M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6nHHgvtC7A

well it's the only life i know, and boy how we have grown

i seriously love this. i want to live by this now. and i also kind want some ice cream...

lots of love 

M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vskp-IoZOTw

hey, hey, something's different in my world today

good day. lessons learned today:

1) never make a bet with your boyfriend on the cinnamon challenge. he will be able to swallow an entire tablespoon of cinnamon, while you are left crying and coughing cinnamon all over your kitchen.

2) talk as much as you can in bio about hawaii when you have a sub. it will make you even more excited to go. only 55 more days! :D

3) while reffing a grade 8 tournament, try not to make awkward faces. people may be taking pictures... and those pictures may just end up on facebook.

4) once again, never make a bet with your boyfriend. never make a bet with any boy for that matter. they will go to any lengths they can to win. any.

it's okay.... we're all just really really awkward people.

lots of love

M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3mKG1W6DEU

cause she ain't running, she ain't hiding

PORTLAND! :) after a two hour ferry ride, ridiculous traffic, and a little over 5 hours of driving i'm finally in portland! so stoked, because part of my christmas present was tickets to a trailblazers/nuggets nba game tomorrow night! :) :) :) yayayayayayay!

although i know this sounds very sad/desperate/crazy, i really am gunna miss jin :( like it hasn't even been that long and i'm already like nooooooo! i swore i was never going to turn into one of those girls who's just all about her boyfriend, so i won't! gotta just totally forget about it. 

OH! and also the hotel i'm staying in, the guy working in the valet told us the sacramento kings stayed here last night. THAT MEANS MY FUTURE HUSBAND DEMARCUS COUSINS WAS HERE LAST NIGHT! :O and i missed him! damn. 

lots of love 

M 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_fYw7u6VcY

i've been at the top for a while and i ain't jump yet

oh christmas. a time for laughing with your family, getting fat, and making fun of drunk relatives. it really is the most wonderful time of the year. it really didn't feel like christmas yesterday morning, but after two ridiculously large dinners, lot's of fun time with the family, christmas carols on every radio station and a few presents here and there, it finally feels like christmas to me :) i mean it's kinda over now.. but i'm left with a sort of warm, happy feeling? like i've fulfilled my holiday cheer for another year!

i'm really happy because i'm NOT going to any boxing day sales tomorrow! avoiding the huge rush at the malls! busy shopping just isn't for me! i'm not good with huge crowds and waiting in seemingly endless lineups to purchase something 75% off that you wouldn't have even thought of buying if it wasn't so damn cheap! instead i'm gunna be lazy and lay around the house all day in my pjs :) and i think that jin kid may be coming over? sounds like a good enough day to me! maybe watch the los angeles/sacramento game, it'll be my kinda day! :)

lots of love

M

yay for an excuse to dress uuup :) 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ti3CKuU3FRs

it's always better when we're together

boyfriends annoy me. so much. i feel like ever since jess and shannon started dating their boyfriends they've been spending less and less of time with me, and more time with their boyfriends. to the point of now, where the only time i really hang out with them is at school.

what bothers me the most about it is they say 'montana you've changed'. i've changed? really, i've changed? no, you just started hanging out with your boyfriends all the time, and i've been finding other ways to preoccupy myself, and other friends to spend time with. you're the ones that have changed. you think you're in 'love'. wake up. you're barley sixteen years old, live your life and go out and do things before you say you 'love' somebody. because a month after dating somebody isn't a good time to decide you 'love' them. 

give it time, and have freedom with it. don't take it too seriously. both jessie and shannon think they're going to marry their boyfriends some day eventually. although they haven't said it, they've definitely implied it multiple times. they're already planning grad trips with them. that's not for another year and a half! if either of their boyfriends were to break up with them, i don't know what they'd do. it would be like a death. they've made it so that their worlds revolve around their boyfriends, and have excluded everyone else. totally disregarded their friends. 

i don't think i can deal with them much longer. and to top if off, when we do hang out they always 

1) ask to bring their boyfriends along, then get mad if i say no 

2) text their boyfriends the entire time we hang out not paying any attention to their other friends

when they're with their boyfriends they don't text ANYONE. they make it a point not to. yet when they're with me they constantly text them. 

and i also feel as if they always look down on me because i don't have a boyfriend, i just have flings. they don't understand that yes, it is possible to be single and still be happy. although you may have fun with your boyfriend, i can have fun too. plus i don't have limits.

i think these girls need a serious reality check. and as bad as it sounds, the only way they're really going to get one is if their boyfriends dump them... which i kind of wish they would. 

oh and side note here, T has a boyfriend, and she's amazing with being able to balance everything. she hangs out with him, but still she always makes sure she has time for her friends, and she stays grounded. i really admire her for that. but JM takes it so far to say she's a bad girlfriend. just because she can balance her boyfriend and her friends makes her a bad friend? no jessie, you're just a terrible friend and need to get your big head out of your ass. 

okay done my rant now :)

lots of love 

M 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfoqELZWcp8&feature=feedrec_grec_index

it's hard to believe all these pictures were only from a couple years ago...